We have Lucas’s space complete and honestly, it is hard to be around. It feels like suspended animation, or a space that was evacuated. It feels like a reminder of losses before him, and in the same way, it feels weird to think about changing, too. His “L” hangs above his shelf, his crib ready for the soft body of a two year old babe. His drawers full of clothes he will not wear. I really wish that we could show up at his parents door with all of the goodies and say “Surprise!! We are so happy for your family!! We have a few things for you!”
Anyway… I really need a fresh start, which is ridiculously privileged and spoiled and silly, but while Lucas’s space was lovingly constructed of items from the home that hold meaning for us, I want to create something fresh and new and without any sad juju for babyhig. And since she will be sharing a space with our other girls, it means I get to freshen up a whole room, which is basically my favorite thing to do, anyway. I’ve decided that I will not touch the space until after trip one so that I have something happy to occupy my time, but I knew that an item that I really wanted for her was the pottery barn blythe crib. I also knew that I really didn’t want the $1000 price tag, so figured that ultimately I would end up without that blythe crib… ha! I checked craigslist out of curiosity and there was one at a fantastic price in Northern Va, but I am so gun shy after the long road that led us here.
As a business person, I don’t mess with money. I would never in a million years ask someone to hold something that I know is in demand and priced to sell. For some reason, however, I felt the need to message the seller and let her know that we are adopting after failed attempts and I won’t even know until next week if I need this but if it’s still available then to please let me know because I would love to purchase it. I sent the email, cringed at my awkwardness, forgot about it, definitely not expecting a reply. When I finished work for the day and checked my email, I was shocked to find this message:
Our goal is to spread hope and catalyze growth in the community of those with learning differences.
The “star” of the website is a young woman with down syndrome.
I don’t think I have anything else to say, but I KNOW this is a part of the story. Thank you, Lord, for reaching right into my heart that has been trying to be brave and reminding me that you are holding it in the palm of your hand. And also for loving pottery barn… because I do, too 😉