This is an update to the crib story, which technically is the conclusion, but I truly believe is, instead, a beginning.
Earlier this week, the crib seller offered to deliver the crib to us, which was a tremendous blessing to this busy momma of many. I was nervous/anxious/excited to have it in my home. I was reminding myself that everything with babyhig is still SO up in the air, but I will also confess that I had in the back of my mind the reassurance that we had a plan B (for becky, her advocacy name) baby girl. That sounds awful, no child deserves to be a plan B, and while clinging to my own selfish wishes to adopt her, I have also been advocating HARD for her to be adopted (so no need to tell me I am selfish. I am also self aware).
Thursday I learned that sweet Becky had a family coming for her, and instead of feeling the joy that I knew I should be feeling, I felt defeated. It seemed to me that with prospect A still unknown and prospect B(ecky) now committed to, it was inevitable that our adoption will come to an abrupt halt again. As I moped, I felt strongly that God was trying to speak into my heart but I was attempting to ignore him. Stephanie, He was telling me, you do not need a plan B. You need my plan. And it’s always the plan, even when you think it’s gone wrong.
So Friday I refused to allow doubt to linger. I knew that God was using this crib, the woman delivering it, my faithfulness and pottery barn to tell a story. wink. Instead of imagining all that could go wrong… again… I assured myself that one day the child He meant to sleep here will sleep here. As the seller’s momma reminded me earlier this week: build it in faith and they will come.
As she backed her truck into the drive so we could unload babyhig’s beautiful new crib, I went inside for the $490 that she was asking… a very fair sum for a $1000 crib still in it’s box, but definitely more than I have spent or will spend on anything else since committing in December because every extra penny has to pay off the loan we took out to fund our adoption. Combined with taking most of July off because I believed we would be travelling to europe for Lucas, it definitely made the summer a little tight and I definitely questioned my life choices. ha. While it’s tacky to discuss money, I only mention all of this because she refused to accept the money. The crib is a gift from her family to ours, delivered in rush hour traffic (she literally spent hours on 95 in standstill summer Friday traffic), because they know that God connected our two families.
I think my husband even shed a couple of tears.
P (seller) also brought a huge mylar princess balloon, to celebrate our sweet girl. We chatted and swapped stories and got to know each other a little bit and she shared that when her sister was born with down syndrome 25 years ago, people were visiting and unsure what to say to her mom, when her bestie bust into the hospital room with a bunch of balloons exclaiming SHE IS HERE! AND SHE IS PERFECTION!! So the balloon was symbolic of their belief that she will be here, and she is perfect and worth every step of the journey.
You guys, I am so humbled. The way God used a craiglist ad to speak to my heart, and theirs, and connect families in this way is unreal. Every time I naysayed my own self and said “well that is maybe just a coincidence,” He threw some other tiny detail on the table that couldn’t possibly be anything other than His hand. I am so excited to see where this journey leads us, not just in terms of adopting our sweet girl, but I feel so strongly that He meant for our families to be connected, and for once I am going to just give in and stop guessing and enjoy the journey.
PLEASE check out the website for P’s non profit, the Bloom Project. She has not officially launched but there are a couple of videos featuring her sister who is crushing limits with her extra chromosome, and I am sure you will find them as inspiring as I did! Check it out here!