Four weeks

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We have been home four weeks, and are settling back into a new normal. The old normal was wondering what it would be like to see her face for the first time, and the new normal is knowing she is missing in our every day. The old normal was holding our breaths in fear that something unusual would occur and she would be taken from us, and the new normal is understanding how much joy that thinking steals. I can feel already that God is using this time to mold us more, and I am trying my best to be appreciative of that attention.

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Last week we received our USCIS approval, which triggers her visa appointment in B. This is a big step, and I am so thankful to see our forward momentum. I realized at the beginning of this week that the crushing sadness I trudged through the first couple of weeks has given way to excitement. I am sure it will swing back around, probably a few times before she is home, but I am thankful for the reprieve. My littlest kids are kind of a mess… very needy and the preschooler is having nightmares, causing both tiny boys to cling to me at night and creating very disruptive sleep patterns… which rolls into struggle the next day. Rinse. Repeat. We are very close, and I believe that it has been really upsetting to them to feel how sad mommy has been. I hope that we can use this lull to get the family back on track, kick those nightmares to the curb and reassure the tiny guys that all is well in their world.

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Another big step: as of 4:00 pm yesterday, our paperwork is complete! Like for real, for real. Our medicals are updated, our fingerprints are updated, a last minute curve ball document is updated and sent out for apostille.  To make it even sweeter, the weather was great. We have been drowning in rain for weeks and weeks and weeks. It was medicinal to come home, sit on the deck and play.  I watched the boys splashing in their homemade car wash and realized that this time next year, their sister will be alongside them.

What a timely reminder that everything has it’s season. This season of waiting will soon give way to our newest normal: the season of Rosie.

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