I cried so much yesterday that my eyes are perma shut. I cried because I was scared and then I cried because I was overjoyed and then I cried because I was humbled and then I cried because I was… very sleepy. ha.
Today is a new day. Today is back to things to do, a business to run and kiddos to parent. Today is back to our normal but it’s also electric with excitement. It’s trying to focus on work when I want to go through her clothes. It’s walking into the girl’s room and knowing that in a few short weeks I will be walking into scoop her up in the mornings. It’s the most thankful thanksgiving ever.
In the years leading up to yesterday, leading up to the journey back to Europe, in leading up to walking out of the baby home with OUR DAUGHTER and bringing her home to this family, we’ve had some lows. Not the obvious lows of failed attempt after failed attempt, but the backlash we’ve endured as the months wore on.
maybe God doesn’t mean for you to adopt because you are pro choice
She’s lying about the whole thing, adoption only takes a few months
So are you just going to keep hopping around until someone gives you a kid?
Are you trying to copy L (friend with adopted kiddos with DS)?
There must be something their family is hiding if everyone keeps saying no
They just like the attention
They are probably getting rich off of adoption scams
From hurtful assumptions to outright lies to accusations that hurt my heart to just silliness that didn’t even warrant a response, the lows took over my heart many times. I began to find more and more places that I didn’t fit, friendships that weren’t really friends, relationships that I had to pretend I didn’t know what they thought about our family. For a period a couple of years ago, I hit absolute rock bottom and said “nope. never again.”
God used it all, though. He pushed the ‘helpers’ into my path so obviously that I couldn’t ignore them. He flooded us with love from friends that I had nothing to give who just wanted to lift us up and support us. For every one relationship that hurt, there were twenty who carried me. I’ve learned to let so much go this year, until my eyes can only see what is good anymore and I can’t spend any time on what isn’t.
What remains is tear soaked gratitude for this village. Nadya is the baby that a community has brought home. She isn’t just ours, she is OURS. Yesterday wasn’t just amazing for our family, it was such a celebration of community. I am not just thankful for passing court, I am SO THANKFUL for the entire long road that led us to where we belong. I am thankful for the lessons we learned along the way, the people we fell in love with, the patience we maintained, the trust we didn’t lose, and the hope that always burned hot in our souls. After the first couple of ‘no’s when my hope would dwindle I would wallow in some of the negativity. This last leg of the journey we found ourselves surrounded by friends who wouldn’t allow that, and when hope would be replaced with questioning and grief they would say “nope… not today. Let’s do this, girl.”
I am humbled. grateful. overcome with thankfulness. “Thank you” will never be enough, but let us all not forget that we have the power to carry people we love. Thanks for being my legs, friends. We love you SO.
SO… how did we celebrate? Well with mimosas OBVIOUSLY.
I had planned on waking up and whirring some strawberries and sugar in the vitamix and adding those to the mimosas but I woke up panicked over court and with a sick kiddo instead. I plan to revisit these often… hahaha… so maybe there will be an update. I went with plain ol’ OJ. I ordered rose syrup online, in honor of both our girl and her country. Bulgaria is the world’s largest producer of roses, they are literally growing everywhere.
Rose mimosa: Sparkling rose, splash of OJ, splash of rose syrup
For the kids we did rose shirley temples: gingerale, maraschino cherries, grenadine and a splash of the rose syrup.