1580 days

Today is day 1,580 since we agreed to adopt. Since arriving home from holding our little one, I have been feeling overwhelmed facing 120+ days without her, but I realized today that I was looking in the wrong direction. How can 120 days feel so hard when over a thousand are already behind me? How…

Coffee crying, rebel hearts & surrender

{totally nonsensical image, but this struggle-wagon-cry-baby is awfully glad she has superheroes to get her through the wait!) For most of my life, I’ve held a tiny piece of my heart as mine. I was acutely aware from a very young age that some people who shared some of my experiences became hard from their…

Day five, saying “see you soon”

Day five was brutal. We checked out of hotel Phenix and headed to the attorney’s office to sign all of the documents that allowed our agency to represent us in court. We had been prepared for this, as we also needed to officially name her. When it was time to hand me the pen, I…

Day four: Visa photo!

All week we looked forward with great anticipation to Thursday, because it was the day we were busting out of the baby home and going out on the town! In order to immigrate to the US, baby girl needs a visa and in order to get a visa, baby girl needs a visa photo! HOLLAH!…

Day Three: Happy, Happy, Happy!

On day three my stomach was in knots as we headed to the baby home. We were very understanding that she was not feeling well, and we also understood that the point of the trip was to officially accept the referral, and we felt more than able to do so. Mission accomplished. But still… we…

Day two: sick little rose

Day two began much like day one: in the hotel restaurant with crepes, preserves and strong east european coffee. Side note: if you have ever had Turkish coffee, they are quite similar. EE coffee is like Turkish coffee’s weaker cousin. The first morning Brian had like four cups and all I can say is that…

Meeting our miracle: Day one

For four years I have tried to focus my energy on the light at the end of the tunnel: the moment when someone who spoke a language that I didn’t know walked into the room I was waiting in and handed me the child I had been praying for. I thought I knew what it…